In French, you don’t really say “I miss you.” You say “tu me manques,” which is closer to “you are missing from me.”

I love that. “You are missing from me.” You are a part of me, you are essential to my being. You are like a limb, or an organ, or blood. I cannot function without you.

I’ve been wanting to go because I’ve been worried. I haven’t felt like myself in awhile and I finally got some of my questions answered as to why I feel so different. Since I ate already today and they weren’t aware that I was going to need a blood test I have to wait a couple weeks to see if I have diabetes. There’s a very real chance I have it my doctor told me today, I also have to come in and have a head CT because my memory loss and constant headaches aren’t a good sign either. She did these checks today so see how my balance and coordination was, they were fine but when she applied pressure to certain area’s of my head everything started spinning and I got that hungover feeling I’ve been experiencing for months.

I know this is one of those times I should be worried, but I’m trying not to be I have other things to be worried about plus I would rather not worry my family. Nene is the only one who knows and tumblr now but she’s really optimistic and so am I. It honestly just feels good to know I wasn’t going crazy all this time.

I wanna tell Tay but I don’t wanna worry him either, it’s funny this is one of those times I wish I had a real good friend to just laugh and cry it out with, someone who really knows me but I don’t. I have people in my life that I consider friends but they just don’t know me, like know me know me at least enough for me to tell them this.

Oh well, life goes one.